The Last Dance
by wolfsbane00010
Summary: After a single patient talks with me, I knew what I had to do. My name is JD, and this is the day I died. Rated M for suicidal reason, don't like it then don't read. One-shot


**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Scrubs, though I watch the show multiple times. The plot of this isn't even mine, my demented subconcious created it while I was asleep. **

**So, I am making a one-shot after I had a dream about something similiar. I changed the genre completely because originally it was for an anime called Fruits Basket and I can't imagine Tohru killing herself after a prom dance. My stamach flu is gone and I will be better by tomorrow, and able to go to school. Yeah...I hate this. Now my mom is sick to, and all because my dad started the whole flu thing. Well, now for my dark themes one-shot.**

I was standing on the very edge of the rail, standing over the edge. A warm summer raing was falling on my hair, matting it down onto my skull. I could hear the sound of a car coming, and sirens in the distance. My precious scooter was parked under the roof of a bus stop, my house was up for sale, I had said my secret goodbyes, I don't know what was stopping me from just letting go. I don't know what kept the last segments of my fingers from releasing their grip and falling forward into the water. I just knew something would happen, some big climax that would give me the strength the strength to let go. My name is John Dorian, my friends call em J.D. And this is the day I died.

It wasn't some automatic decision though, I had been kind of depressed for a while. I thought it was just a stage, something that would blow over. I probably would have gone on with my life, just living day to day, but just today was my last chance. I actually saw suicide today, I thought about my life. All the things that have made my life unbearable, all the people who would miss me. So, in a way, this was an instant choice. I did choose it all at once. But I had also been thinking about it for a long time; a way, any way, I could escape the downward spiral that was becoming my life.

XXXEARLIER TODAYXXXX

I had put on my face, my incredably cheery face, acting as if nothing was wrong. Acting as if Dr. cox wasn't working on my last nerve, Acting as if Elliot was completely oblivious to everything I tried to do for her, Acting as is Turk wasn't ignoring me for weeks. Then, Kelso walked up to me, with his normal smug grin.

"So, I have a new patient for you. She just came in, severe overdose of medication. I want you to watch her carefully! Until she's out of the hospital and in a psychologists chair she's on Suicide watch! Don't screw this up." He tossed the clipboard into my hands and walked away, not even caring that I missed.

I walked into the girls room, she was awake and staring out the window. One of the Hospitals psychiatrist walked past me, muttering to himself again. I walked up and flipped through the mass of papers, trying to find a name hidden in the to small writing.

"Christine Allsenberg?"

"Yes?" she replied, smiling up at me. I almost dropped the clipboard. This girl was on suicide watch? She seemed so happy, so cheery. She looked...like me.

"I...i'm Doctor Dorian. I am going to be working along with Dr. Baily and..."

"Do you think I'm happy?" she said, not changing her cheery tone.

"Um...yes? I guess." I answered, not really knowing what she meant.

"So did everyone else. I kept telling them I wasn't happy, that they should stop taking advantage of me, of considering my feelings. But none of them cared, they all thought happy little Chrissy couldn't do anything wrong. So I proved them wrong, I wanted them to stop forever, but then they stopped me." She turned back and stared out the window, her expression going blank.

"But..." I said, trying to remember what so many other people said about suicide. "It...it's a temporary solution to a permanent problem."

"But some problems are so bad, they become permanent, and they keep hurting even after you solved them." I stopped, not knowing what to say next. My life had sucked, that was an understatement. Lately my brother had been arguing and had really hurt me when he mentioned mom in one of their arguments, how he was the favorite child and how mom still talked to him. All my friends were ignoring me, always coming up with an excuse to leave.

I hated to admit it, but what she said made perfect sense. I attatched the clipboard to the bed and turning to leave. I sighed and started walking away, but she coughed and I turned my face to see.

"Thanks for listening." she said, smiling at me. "I think you understand me." I just half-smiled and kept walking down the hallway, thinking about what just happened.

XXXDINNERXXX

I had been thinking about what had happened all day. The picture of that girl Chrissy kept playing in my mind. "_I think you understand me_." Those words just wouldn't stop echoing themselves. The thing was, she had made sense. All the stuff that had happened, I didn't know if I could ever really recover. All the things Dan had said, my friends ignoring me for weeks, I couldn't stop thinking about that word.

Suicide.

"Hey Karen aren't you supposed to be watching that patient?" Dr. Cox said, sitting on the table in front of me.

"No, my stomach's not feeling good." I replied, trying to end to conversation.

"Aw, what? Did mommy forget to burp her baby girl this morning?" Then I just snapped. I don't know what happened, but when I finally got my head to stop spinning, Dr. Cox was on the floor with a bloody nose and I was screaming.

"YOU BASTARD! I HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT BE NICE TO YOU AND YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT! GO ROT IN HELL!" I screamed and then stormed away.

After I cooled down I took a deep breath and started thinking. That felt good, really good. But I would probably pay hell tomorrow, if there was a tomorrow.

Then, I just took a deep breath and sighed. I was going to do it, I knew my head was going towards it already, but now I finally admitted to myself.

I was going to commit suicide.

But how? Drugs? No, I didn't want to steal from the hospital or buy anything. Then, it hit me. Drowning. The river would be warm this time of year, and it would be high. It would be just like flying and it just seemed like it would be perfect.

I signed out, using every penny and excuse I had to clear up all my patients for the next few days. Then I was sitting in the Lounge, a paper and pencil in front of me, writing my final note.

_Dear Friends,_

_I know that you'll probably think I'm crazy, or give me excuses. But this is what I wanted. Turk, I want you to keep Sasha safe and have my apartment. Though you'll probably sell most of it. Elliot? I have tried to show you how much I loved you, but you never seemed to get it. Carla? You where there for me for a long time, but you weren't there at all lately, but thanks for the years of help. Perry? I have tired to show you nothing but friendship and you've hated me, so screw you._

_By the time you've read this, I'll probably on my way to the West Bridge, or dead._

_Love, J.D._

I walked up to the front desk and asked the receptionist to give it to Carla, Turk or Elliot when one of them came by. I walked out the door and dropped my backpack next to the door, not caring who picked it up. He reved up the engine and drove away, the faint sounds of thunder coming closer.

XXXNOWXXX

"J.D.!" a voice screamed, I turned my head to look at who called. It was Elliot, Turk and Carla. All of them had piled into one car and had driven out here, but how the got out here so fast was a mystery.

"What are you doing?" Carla screamed, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Hey guys. I'm glad you came." I said, the rain staining my face now, but I could care less. "I have a problem I need to resolve. Should I have white or yellow roses at my funeral?" I tried to sound happy, I could just imagine what they were going through, but for some reason I hadn't felt better. Everything that had happened was gone now, and I felt that if I went back to my everyday life I wouldn't be able to take it. I felt like I was free.

"JD, please." Elliot said, crying more than Carla. The rain made her hair look more beautiful, or maybe it was just me.

"Dude, please. Just come back over. We can work this out! Please!" He was yelling now, my grip getting looser and looser.

"I know!" I said, staring up at the sky for a second and then closing my eyes. "I want blue roses." And then, I let go.

It seemed ike every worry, hate, sadness, pain and loss I had ever felt flew off my body and dissappeared. I landed in the water, it was colder than I had figured but it wouldn't matter. I could see my friends leaning on teh side rail, staring down on the river. I thought for a second maybe I should swim up, maybe I should give it a try. But soon my lungs felt heavy and I was being washed away. Then a voice whispered at the back of his head.

If they were really your friends, they would have jumped in after you.

Then I just closed my eyes and released my last bit of air. And then...

I died.

_**TBC**_

**A/N I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. This dream thing wouldn't get out of my head till I wrote it down. I know it's sad, and I do NOT support suicide in any way. But ths is also a litte thing for a friend of mine. I don't think she's ever going to read this, but this is for you in a way. I don't care if you readers review or not for this one story. But just this once I won't care.**

**Love-Wolfie**


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